Talk Well To and Of Yourself Everyday

As the new year will be soon upon us, its time to make your plans for 2014.

The most important goal you should and the one that will make the rest of the goals easier to reach, is the goal of being good to yourself, and that starts with your words. I hear far too many women making nasty, mean spirited, and disparaging remarks about themselves!! Would they tolerate anyone saying those “oh you are so fat” or “you will never be able to do that” or “you are so disorganized” or “you have no idea” about someone they loved?

I have written about this before, but it is so powerful, I want to remind you again of how imperative it is to be kind to yourself. Its so easy to fall into the old patterns of putting ourselves down.

Here are some of the classics:
I could never use that machine
I just can’t lose weight
I’ll never get a man
I look terrible in my clothes
I have bad feet
My hair is ugly
My job stinks (okay may be true, but reminding yourself all the time doesn’t help)
So and So doesn’t like me
I’ll just mess up again
I hate my wrinkles
I feel fat
I never sleep
I can’t drive well
I am scared
I can’t handle it

I am not suggesting one shouldn’t look at themselves and see what they would like to change and make better, in fact, that is a must. I am saying that we shouldn’t be unkind to ourselves with constant negative chatter.

If you want to lose weight, say, Yes I can lose the weight, and here’s how. I went to a party and an old friend was saying “Oh I just can’t keep the weight off”, as she proceeded to load her plate with Orange Chicken. I didn’t judge her for eating the Orange Chicken, but she needed to notice she was self sabotaging with both her words and her actions. When one makes negative comments about themselves, they are often self-fulfilling. We are training our brains to follow through with what we are saying. When my friend asked me how I lost the weight, I shared that it was portion control, more exercise, getting my husband on board, and being positive it was going to happen. Once I had started saying, I am going to be healthier, fitter, lither, I was teaching my brain to think that way as well.

People are often asked what makes a woman attractive and sexy, and a very common answer is Confidence. A confident woman says more positive things about herself to herself than negative ones. She walks with her shoulders back and her head high, and she doesn’t let her self-perceived flaws stop her. She leaves the house proudly and says I am fabulous to her self everyday. If she is feeling bad about something about herself, she doesn’t let it affect her whole self. She plays up what she truly loves about her self, and doesn’t worry about what the rest.

My mother has a bit of loose skin at her neck. The more she fiddled with it, the looser it got. Sunny made a comment about women’s necks and how they are the hardest to keep lithe, while she was pulling on the “waddle”. She was physically manifesting her thoughts by making her neck skin even more saggy, something she didn’t want. Now, she tries to catch herself and pull her hand away. It was a habit she had to break.

It’s the same with the negative words we say about ourselves- a nasty habit we need to break. We need to think of ourselves as precious and amazing, and remind ourselves of that everyday. If there are bad days, or bad times, it can be tough to be positive about anything, but try and find something to treat yourself with honor.

If you catch yourself saying something mean about yourself, follow up with two or three positives. Ask “Would I say that to my child, my friend, or my significant other? Would I be okay if someone else said it to me?” If not, then work to be good to yourself, work to love all of you, every inch of skin, every strand of hair, every well earned wrinkling. If you want to make changes, then start with your words, think and speak positively about you, and make that your new habit.

I look great
I feel great
I can do this
I can lose weight
I will try that machine
I am lovable
I am likeable
I have a great smile
People think I am charming
I am proud of me
I did well today
Tomorrow will be better
I am smart
I have good people in my life
I am worthy
I honor myself
I can do better
I will work past the fear

Take Care


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